It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
