Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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