Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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