SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
