Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
