my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
