Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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