wanna go halves on a baby?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
