Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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