Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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