peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
