She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
