chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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