Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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