addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The adults are the big ones right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
