i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
