I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
