my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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