i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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