She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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