Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
