I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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