If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
