Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
