i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ladies don't puke and tell
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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