clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
