Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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