we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
