k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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