i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
