I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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