i barfeds in our rink
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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