ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
pray to the hookup gods
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
