i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
