Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
