I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
