Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
