Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
