I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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