I'm really into asian looking animals
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
