My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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