What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
