My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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