I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
