we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
