operation harelip BJ is a go
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's not a foreskin expert like you
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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