they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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