how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
