no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
