if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
