we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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